We Need Some Good GOP Campaign Songs

A few days ago one of my loyal readers posted a Liz Warren campaign song video (even though she’s not running for anything right now). The video was posted to my comments section with a snide comment and reminder of the Obama songs we contended with in 2008.

I wondered why we never see any good campaign songs for the GOP contenders? Rather than mock Warren’s supporters, how about putting together some ditties for your candidates? So I figured in this time of dark headlines and world unrest, we could use a lighter post today. Here are my song fragments for a few of the leading contenders for the GOP POTUS run.

Mitt Romney (provide your own melody)

Mitt’s the hit, he’s the hole in one.
Michigan’s favorite son.

Vote for Mitt and you can bet
He’ll wipe out Russia, our biggest threat.

“Bankrupt Detroit”, our Mitt foretold
That GM cars would all soon explode.

The war on women will gets its licks
When Mitt opens up his binder of chicks.

VOTE FOR MITT, HE’S THE HIT!!

Rand Paul (provide your own melody)

Rand Paul, he’s our man
A tried and true Libertarian

Rand Paul, he’s our man
He won’t send your son to die in Iran.

He’ll get the gov out of your bedroom
And let you smoke pot and eat your shrooms.

And just like his Daddy said
He’ll stop foreign aid and audit the Fed.

Jeb Bush (to the melody of John Lennon’s “Give Peace a Chance”)

Everybody’s talking ’bout Iraq, Afghans, Katrina, failed banks, Cheney, Rumsfeld.

All we are saying, give Jeb Bush a chance!

Everybody’s talking ’bout Father, Brother, dynasty, even Mother say’s it’s bullshit but

All we are saying, give Jeb Bush a chance!

Marco Rubio (to the melody of “La Bamba”)

Come on and vote for Marco.
Come on and vote for Marco, the Cuban wonder.
He’s not like Obama.
He’s not like Obama, he will not plunder
Your hard earned wages.
Your hard earned wages will stay with you, will stay with you, will stay with you!

Come on and vote for Marco.
Come on and vote for Marco, the Rubio.
He will fix immigration.
He will fix immigration but do it slow.
Don’t want to piss off the right wing
Don’t want to piss off the right wing and Tea Party
He will fix immigration
He will fix immigration very slowly, very slowly, very slowly.

MARCO, MARCO
MARCO, MARCO
MARCO, MARCO
MARCO!!

Chris Christie (to the melody of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”)

Have yourself a President Chris Christie.
He’s a voice that’s new.
While others coddle voters, he just says “Fuck you!”

So have yourself a President Christie — FUCK YOU!

Respectfully,
Rutherford

A Time for our Country to Feel Good Again

When I was a kid, there was a family drama on TV called “The Waltons”. It was about a rural family struggling during the Depression. What I recall was that while I found the show a bit corny and didn’t watch it religiously, every time I did watch it, I came away feeling better than before I turned on the television.

Two moments during this, the first night of the Democratic convention, left me feeling so much better than I did beforehand. The first moment was the appearance of Senator Edward M. Kennedy, who against great odds appeared before the adoring crowd to reiterate his support of Barack Obama’s candidacy. I have a loved one who is a cancer survivor and I know through her the terrible physical burden placed on the body by chemotherapy and radiation. In keeping with his passion for service to this country, Teddy made the trip to Denver and delivered a rousing speech. Using a variation on his 1980 convention speech closer, he said “the work begins anew, the hope rises again and the dream lives on.” For a man battling brain cancer, it was a stirring courageous moment.

As if the emotional impact of the night could not get any more profound, Michelle Obama then appeared and delivered a speech that crystallized her and Barack’s embodiment of the American Dream. Born on the south side of Chicago, raised by hard working parents, one of whom rose above a debilitating disability, Michelle Obama excelled far beyond expectation. In perhaps the most masterful part of her speech, within one sentence she honored the historic campaign of Hillary Clinton and the life’s work of Joe Biden. It was as if to say, Hillary did a great historic thing, and now we have to move on and accept the candidacy of a life-long public servant, Joe Biden. She managed to say, implicitly, that Biden’s selection does not diminish Clinton’s accomplishment.

Tonight was a night of themes that could not help but lift the spirit. Courage, hard work, hope, achieving the American Dream and loving our country for providing the potential to achieve that dream.

Next week, when I watch the Republican convention, I will stay as open minded as possible and see if I come away with such a feeling of hope. All I can say is tonight, I feel inspired. I feel that if the Democrats emerge victorious in November, our country will have a chance to set aside fear, cynicism and hopelessness and once again make people believe they can achieve their dreams.

Respectfully,
Rutherford

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The Color of Infidelity

Tonight, two thoughts occur to me concerning the revelations of John Edwards’ infidelity.

First, I’m so thankful that I had not put all my hopes and dreams in him as so many of his supporters had. I say this without a speck of “I told you so” attitude. On the contrary, when I first heard the rumors of John’s fooling around, I dismissed it. But this election season has been characterized by the involvement of young voters who have cast aside the cynical attitude towards politics so prevalent in today’s discourse. My heart goes out to Edwards’ young supporters and I hope they understand that his personal failings don’t invalidate his stand on important public issues of the day.

Second, I cannot help but conjecture about how race effects political coverage. Is there any doubt that if the National Enquirer caught Barack Obama at a hotel with a strange woman, the MSM would have been all over it? When it came to Edwards, they gave the story a pass. It’s possible that his wife’s battle with cancer might have given the major media outlets some cause for restraint. Still, I cannot help but believe that Barack Obama would never have made it past last October if such a story leaked out about him.

Which brings me back to my first point. I HAVE invested a lot of my hopes and dreams in Barack Obama. I am hoping that any Obama mistress that might be out there would have been unearthed by the Republican attack machine by now. As self confident as Obama is, let us hope that the narcissism that brought down John Edwards does not compromise the moral stature of Barack.

Respectfully,
Rutherford

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