Posts tagged ‘McCain’
In his latest bid to look presidential, John McCain told an enthusiastic biker gathering in South Dakota:
As you may know, not long ago a couple hundred thousand Berliners made a lot of noise for my opponent. I’ll take the roar of 50,000 Harleys any day.
I’m sure this greatly increases Germany’s anticipation of his election. McCain – a true statesman!
Considering this quote plus his endorsement of his wife for Miss Buffalo Chip, I can see McCain one day following in the footsteps of John F. Kennedy, addressing a German crowd with the immortal words:
Ich bin ein sexist motorradfahrer!
From the desk of The Rigorist
When competing teams first meet there is the handshake to establish the common ground of sportsmanship. When the salesmen of competing businesses first meet they usually attempt to find common ground in their common humanity and their common frustrations. So here I am trying to make a good first impression. I start with a joke and I look through the news for something to beat up McCain with.
There is nothing there. The closest I can find is a breakthrough Alzheimer’s treatment.
When I dig deeper I find that he doesn’t have cancer. I search wider to learn that he’s trying to show independence and he is an “unabashed” conservative. Big whoop. Like I haven’t known that he was independent and shameless since he hooked up with John Edwards for that patient’s rights bill in ’01.
McCain has got to be the slowest moving target on the political freeway. Any conservative position he takes is a flip-flop and any liberal one is redundant. He’s stuck. His free range maverick ways now leave him mud sucked, unable to move left or right. His sole attraction for the Republicans is he didn’t actually obstruct President Bush’s policies on Iraq or Afghanistan. The number of attractions he presents Democrats challenge enumeration.
It is to McCain’s ironic misfortune that Democrats emote rather than think. The voters he should be able to rely upon cannot consider him. Entranced with Barack Obama’s looks and kindness and vigor, they are unconflicted while rejecting John Kerry’s partner on CAFE standards, Paul Sarbanes‘ backer on corporate oversight, Senator Charles Robb’s cosponsor for military base closings, Lieberman’s across-the-aisle buddy on global warming and Ted Kennedy’s on immigration reform. Democrats are unmindful, a sadly accurate adjective, while abandoning the Senator that stood with them against President Bush’s tax cuts, federal embryonic stem cell research funding bans, and Supreme Court nominees.
A jilted McCain must turn away from the spectacle of Democrats swooning over their latest everlasting love d’jour and face Republicans unimpressed with his cleverness. The media that called him ‘Darling’ has tossed him aside to chase a younger, more slender tart with an easy smile and vacant eyes. Oh, the heart break of it all.
It puts a grin on my face, but I’m cold like that.
The only thing left for McCain or the Republicans is to calculate the proposed cost of Obama’s excesses and track the many dangerously dumb ideas Obama has had in order to scare people into voting for the dead guy.
Much has been made lately of Barack Obama’s refusal to admit that the surge has worked. Even the liberal MSM has questioned why Obama won’t give McCain his props for supporting such a great military strategy.
What am I missing here? We are not even at pre-surge troop levels yet and the oft cited reduction in violence has not had much time to endure. In fact, just today three female suicide bombers struck Baghdad and another struck Kirkuk killing and wounding loads of innocent citizens. We won’t even go into the fact that the goal of the surge, to provide Maliki’s government some air cover while they get their act together, has not yet been completely achieved.
It’s way too early to celebrate, folks, and Barack is right to not ring the victory bell too loudly. That McCain is making the “successful surge” one of his talking points should be no surprise. He’s part and parcel of an administration that declared “mission accomplished” before sending thousands more young American men and women to die.
Sit back and let me take you on a flight of fancy.
Imagine Bobby. Bobby has been in a coma for the past nine years. When he awakes, as far as he knows the President of the United States is Bill Clinton. We tell him that is no longer the case but rather than tell him who the current President is, we try a little experiment with him. We play Bobby two sets of video and then ask him who he thinks the President might be.
Video 1: “What do you see, Bobby?”
“Mmmm, well, I see a middle aged tall black man. Looks like he’s talking to the head of Afghanistan. OK, now he’s talking with Nouri al-Maliki of Iraq. Mmmm, he’s shaking hands with Bebe Netanyahu in Israel. Oh, look now he’s talking with Andrea Merkel in Germany. Wow! Look at that crowd in Berlin that he’s talking to! Wait a minute, is he in a press conference with the President of France? OK, I’ve seen enough. I know who the current President is.”
“Hold on Bobby! We’ve got another set of videos to show you.”
Video 2: “Bobby, now what do you see?”
“Ah that’s sweet. Looks like a retired guy going golfing. Hey is that George H. W. Bush he’s golfing with? Wow, real nice of the former President to take that old guy golfing with him. Ah, ok now we see this same guy grocery shopping. Looks like he’s a grandpa shopping with the family. He seems to have a preference for cheese. Oh what’s this? Ah, now the old guy is having a nice lunch at Schmidt’s Sausage Haus and Restaurant. It sure is nice to see this fella enjoying his retirement: heck, golfing, grocery shopping with the family and a nice leisurely lunch. Ehhh, one question. Why are you showing me this video clip of this retiree?”
OK, flight of fancy over. Now I ask you. Isn’t it hard to believe that McCain has put someone new in charge of the campaign?
The folks at JibJab have done it again. What I love is that they are equal opportunity offenders. This clip hits everyone from Bush to Cheney to both Clintons, McCain and Obama.