A couple of weeks ago I was watching “The Cycle” on MSNBC when co-host and qualifiied-to-talk-about-I-don’t-know-what co-host Toure launched into his “personal” take on the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. By the time he was finished I wanted to jump through the TV screen and punch him right in the face.
Let’s deconstruct some of Toure’s argument.
1. Many years ago Toure was in a “committed relationship with a woman who I knew was just not the one”. The tone of his voice as he says this is so la-dee-da that my immediate instinct was to slap him. It’s an oxymoron. Committed means you’re planning to work at the relationship. From my perspective, this was just Toure’s way of saying “I got tired of f*cking her.”
2. “And then she got pregnant.” This reminds me of a battle I got into on another blog when a commenter said she “found herself pregnant”. What? She just woke up one day and there was a new life growing in her womb? So mysterious! How about “we had high risk sexual intercourse that resulted in my girlfriend getting pregnant”. Isn’t that what really happened? What’s this “she got” or “she found herself” business? Why the passive voice? Couples DO something to become pregnant. It doesn’t just happen.
3. “We got an abortion.” No Toure, sorry dude, she got an abortion. And aren’t you lucky she did, as we move onto point 4:
4. Toure says he “would only have contributed to making a mess of three lives” had the abortion not happened. So the better alternative was to make a mess of one life by denying it the right to proceed to natural birth. No Toure, the truth is that putting aside all the melodrama, one of two things would have happened. Either you would have placed the child for adoption or you would have grown a pair and lived up to your responsibility to help raise the baby you helped create. This sanctimonious excuse for making one of the most devastating decisions a couple can make, made me want to puke. Is “making a mess” a nice euphemism for an inconvenience?
5. Just so we know Toure has a conscience, he shares with us that the sonogram of the baby he felt deserved life, made him reflect on abortion. How DEEP of him!
6. Toure then quotes Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: “a woman’s autonomy to determine her life’s course.” Why does that autonomy kick in only after she gets knocked up? How about the autonomy involved in using contraception that with the benefits of today’s science has a 99% pregnancy prevention rate? What happened to that autonomy? What happened to that sense of responsibility?
7. “”I want abortion to be legal safe and rare”. So says Toure. I guess his inability to keep his pecker in his pants unless he has protection falls in that “rare” category.
8. “”We are hurting our nation by making family planning harder.” Let’s get something straight. Abstinence is family planning. Birth control is family planning. You see, planning involves preparing for the future. That’s the definition of planning. Abortion is “cleanup in aisle five”. It’s NOT planning. It is the consequence of NOT planning.
9. “Abortion kept me on a path to building the strong family i have now”. What a smug bastard. Preventing a life from coming to fruition made it possible for Toure to get on with his. Bravo for Toure!
Gang, Toure’s little “personal journey” is exactly what gets the blood boiling in pro-life folks. The problem we have in talking about abortion is we sugar coat what is going on. We act like pregnancy happened to us. We act like we’re doing the kid a favor (when we’re really only doing ourselves a favor). And on top of it all, the only thing more sickening than a man lecturing about how a woman MUST go to term, is a man arguing against her doing so. Call me old fashioned but the man’s contribution to the situation is often selfish at best. The pregnancy is often the result of his carelessly getting his rocks off. He is the last person on Earth to be weighing in on any of this.
So, after hearing Toure’s self indulgent piece of garbage, I think I need to change the label I apply to myself. I am no longer “pro-choice”. I am “anti-legislation”. The t that I still cannot cross and the i that I still cannot dot, is the government choosing sides between a woman’s body and the body growing inside her. It isn’t about the woman’s “autonomy”. It is simply a matter of personal boundaries and I think a government that crosses the very personal boundary of a woman’s body has gone too far. I’m comfortable with the current approach of judging the situation by how far along the pregnancy is.
But let us be clear. I have a dilemma with the intersection of morality and legality on this issue. However Toure made it crystal clear for me what abortion should and should not be about. Abortion should save the life of the mother and perhaps allow her to terminate a pregnancy that was forced upon her (i.e. rape). In every other case, grown people should take responsibility for having sexual intercourse. That means either placement of the child or pointing your own life in a different direction to take care of the precious life you have created. I’ve got zero tolerance for the story of a grown-ass man opting for abortion so that he can wait until he is ready to “build a strong family”.
If I were Toure’s child, I’d tell him “damn Daddy, I sure am glad I was conceived at a time when it was convenient for you to be my father.”
What a damn fool.