From the desk of The Rigorist
When competing teams first meet there is the handshake to establish the common ground of sportsmanship. When the salesmen of competing businesses first meet they usually attempt to find common ground in their common humanity and their common frustrations. So here I am trying to make a good first impression. I start with a joke and I look through the news for something to beat up McCain with.
There is nothing there. The closest I can find is a breakthrough Alzheimer’s treatment.
When I dig deeper I find that he doesn’t have cancer. I search wider to learn that he’s trying to show independence and he is an “unabashed” conservative. Big whoop. Like I haven’t known that he was independent and shameless since he hooked up with John Edwards for that patient’s rights bill in ’01.
McCain has got to be the slowest moving target on the political freeway. Any conservative position he takes is a flip-flop and any liberal one is redundant. He’s stuck. His free range maverick ways now leave him mud sucked, unable to move left or right. His sole attraction for the Republicans is he didn’t actually obstruct President Bush’s policies on Iraq or Afghanistan. The number of attractions he presents Democrats challenge enumeration.
It is to McCain’s ironic misfortune that Democrats emote rather than think. The voters he should be able to rely upon cannot consider him. Entranced with Barack Obama’s looks and kindness and vigor, they are unconflicted while rejecting John Kerry’s partner on CAFE standards, Paul Sarbanes‘ backer on corporate oversight, Senator Charles Robb’s cosponsor for military base closings, Lieberman’s across-the-aisle buddy on global warming and Ted Kennedy’s on immigration reform. Democrats are unmindful, a sadly accurate adjective, while abandoning the Senator that stood with them against President Bush’s tax cuts, federal embryonic stem cell research funding bans, and Supreme Court nominees.
A jilted McCain must turn away from the spectacle of Democrats swooning over their latest everlasting love d’jour and face Republicans unimpressed with his cleverness. The media that called him ‘Darling’ has tossed him aside to chase a younger, more slender tart with an easy smile and vacant eyes. Oh, the heart break of it all.
It puts a grin on my face, but I’m cold like that.
The only thing left for McCain or the Republicans is to calculate the proposed cost of Obama’s excesses and track the many dangerously dumb ideas Obama has had in order to scare people into voting for the dead guy.