Posts Tagged Cindy McCain
Cindy McCain Defends Sarah Palin
Surely, Sarah Palin must be thinking, “For all that is holy and sacred in this world, PLEASE Cindy, DON’T try to help me anymore!” Watch Cindy’s defense of Palin’s candidacy:
Folks, you just can’t make this stuff up!
Update! It’s bad enough Cindy goes there … but now McCain is spouting the same geographic proximity nonsense!
Respectfully,
Rutherford
2 comments August 31, 2008
John McCain – Biker-in-Chief
In his latest bid to look presidential, John McCain told an enthusiastic biker gathering in South Dakota:
As you may know, not long ago a couple hundred thousand Berliners made a lot of noise for my opponent. I’ll take the roar of 50,000 Harleys any day.
I’m sure this greatly increases Germany’s anticipation of his election. McCain – a true statesman!
Considering this quote plus his endorsement of his wife for Miss Buffalo Chip, I can see McCain one day following in the footsteps of John F. Kennedy, addressing a German crowd with the immortal words:
Ich bin ein sexist motorradfahrer!
Respectfully,
Rutherford
10 comments August 6, 2008
What to Expect from First Lady Cindy McCain
The Cindy McCain cookie scandal got me thinking about what we might expect from Cindy during her days in the White House. So let’s fast forward to September of 2017 to see the highlights of her reign as First Lady.
April, 2009 — When a fire breaks out in the White House, Cindy risks life and limb to save precious presidential portraits. With Chuck Norris waiting on the South Lawn, Cindy valiantly tosses portraits of Eisenhower, Nixon, Ford, Reagan and both Bush’s out the window as Norris catches them below. Portraits of FDR, Truman, Kennedy, Johnson, Carter and Clinton perish in the blaze. [1]
June, 2010 — Cindy bans all alcoholic beverages from the White House, claiming to be the first First Lady to do so. She is henceforth nicknamed “Soda Cindy”. [2]
May, 2011 — Defying all reproductive expectations, Cindy gives birth to a baby, whom she names Ruth. She subsequently demands that Nestle name a candy bar after her daughter. [3]
June, 2012 – November, 2012 — No longer able to tell Sunnis from Shia, Iran from Iraq, or R Kelly from Jay-Z, President McCain is prescribed prolonged bed rest. From behind the scenes, Cindy gives combat orders to the generals in all the countries with which we are at war: Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, North Korea, Vietnam (again) and Switzerland (McCain — “It’s time we kicked those fence-sitters asses.”) John recovers in time for the November election which he wins in a landslide sympathy vote against Hillary Clinton. [4]
June, 2015 — In another stroke of originality, Cindy begins serving afternoon tea on the South Lawn to honor the fallen soldiers in Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, North Korea, Vietnam, Switzerland and England (McCain declares war on England in 2013 based on old grudges he’d held onto since the Revolutionary War days.) [5]
September, 2017 — President McCain’s failed attempt to change the Constitution, allowing him a third term, sends Cindy into despondency. However, shortly after leaving the White House, Cindy announces her various addictions to the public and is instrumental in the founding of the Cindy McCain Clinic, the first, so she says, rehab facility ever named after a First Lady. [6]
When asked to summarize her years in the White House, Mrs. McCain said, “I think I was quite productive. I certainly didn’t spend my time sitting around baking cookies, even though I had many original recipes from which to choose.”
(Dis)respectfully,
Rutherford
9 comments June 19, 2008
A Final Plea to Women Voters — Part II
Several months ago, I attempted to make it clear to women voters one good reason they should not be supporting John McCain. I received outraged defenses of McCain saying that his misogyny was only documented in one book with no substantiation.
Well folks, I can’t swear in a court of law that John McCain once called his wife a c**t (c-u-Next-Tuesday), but I sure have video taped evidence that the word is pretty close to the top of his list. There’s nothing like a slip of the lip to give insight into your true vocabulary.
I probably don’t need to worry as much about women voters as I did back when I wrote my first post. Most of the members of the John McCain Female Woman Hater’s Club have been discredited or criticized in one way or another since then (hey Carly, find any new work yet?). And of course one major development since my first “final” plea was the emergence of Sarah Palin who skyrocketed and then crashed and burned.
Still, for those few women who are still considering supporting McCain/Palin, I suggest you show today’s video to your daughters and then find an answer when they ask “Mommy, what did he say? What’s a c**t?” While you’re at it, you might also want to explain to them why Sarah “Hockey Mom” Palin gets a $150,000.00 clothes budget while their real hockey Mom is shopping at Target.
Respectfully,
Rutherford
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Add comment October 22, 2008