“Rogue” and “Rouge”: A Tale of Two Sarah’s

As if one needed any more proof of the media’s disdain for Sarah Palin, the editors of The Nation magazine have planned to release a book of essays, critical of the former Alaska Governor on the same date as her much anticipated auto-biography. For more details, check out the NPR article.

As a service to Palin lovers everywhere, here are the two book covers. Careful shopping folks. You wouldn’t want to end up buying the book that has the truth about Sarah Palin, now would you?

Going Rogue -- Harper Collins Books

Going Rouge -- OR Books

Happy reading!

Respectfully,
Rutherford

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

Sarah Palin Just Wants to Help

Sarah Palin with her nutjob death panels, disloyal China chatter and reality show family has become so radioactive that two Republican candidates in hotly contested gubernatorial races have taken a pass on letting her stump for them.

Looks like the only place poor Sarah can find friends is on Facebook.

Respectfully,
Rutherford

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

How the Death Panel Gets You Your 15 Minutes of Fame

This morning I watched the extended interview between Jon Stewart and Betsy McCaughey and I have to admit it saddens me that it takes a comedian to show what a horse’s ass this woman is. If only this interview could have been conducted before Sarah Palin took the dynamite stick and lit a match to it, perhaps the entire “Death Panel” controversy could have been averted.

For your reference, here are links to the full interview:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-august-20-2009/betsy-mccaughey-pt–1

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-august-17-2009/exclusive—betsy-mccaughey-extended-interview-pt–1

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-august-17-2009/exclusive—betsy-mccaughey-extended-interview-pt–2

While Ms. McCaughey apparently lost her Director position at a medical device company, she at least managed to get more than her 15 minutes of fame. This got me to thinking that perhaps my fast track to fame could go similarly. Join me on a flight of fancy for a few moments:

The House of Representatives writes a bill to help inner city kids. A portion of Bill 1234ABC appears below:

Article 1.
Every year, 2.5 million dollars shall be allocated across the country to establish and maintain playgrounds in inner city neighborhoods so that children will have a safe and constructive place to congregate, keeping them off the streets and out of mischief.

Article 2.
To monitor the progress of this program, volunteers shall be solicited by the government to periodically visit these playgrounds, observe the activities and conditions there, and report back on findings.

Blogger Rutherford Lawson reads the bill and alarms go off in his head. Who are these volunteers monitoring the playgrounds? Will they be given background checks as part of the volunteer process? Bill sounds dangerous. We don’t want “strange” people observing kids at playgrounds.

Lawson’s comments go into limited circulation until they are seen by several vocal national figures. The story progresses:

Sarah Palin writes on her Facebook page: “I will not allow my Down Syndrome baby to grow up in a country that allows child rapists to salivate over his every move! A country that allows this is a country that is evil.”

House Minority Leader John Boehner comments: “I knew that President Obama and I disagreed on a lot of policy issues, but I never believed until now that he supported perverts.”

Michele Bachmann: “This is the first step down a slippery slope to Saddam and Gonorrhea! Oh, by the way, God told me to say that.”

Michelle Malkin: “My investigative efforts have unearthed the following critical fact. Have you ever noticed that in the immediate aftermath of Michael Jackson’s death, Obama never condemned the freak for his history of child abuse? What does this say about our President?”

Before you know it, the protesters are out in full force. This is just one of the posters seen at rallies:

Well, now all I need to do is find a real bill, totally distort it, and then I’m off to the races!

Respectfully,
Rutherford

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

The Latest Hit by the Bachmann-Palin Overdrive

It’s been a long ten months since the musical muse last visited me. That song was in honor of John McCain and his then notorious brother.

Lately I’ve been humming songs by that great Canadian import the Bachman-Turner Overdrive. Today after hearing one more idiotic story about Michele Bachmann, Congresswoman from Minnesota, I was struck again by musical inspiration.

So here for your trivial consumption is my first song for the newly formed duo, the Bachmann-Palin Overdrive:

You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet (sung to the tune of, of course, “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet”)

(Sarah)
I used to be the Governor
I was having fun all day
They made me run for VP
Then they took my fun away

I say that any fame is good fame
So I take what I can get
Yes I take what I can get
And then I wink at you with my big brown eyes
and say

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
No b-b-baby you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
I’ll say something stupid that you never will forget
No no no you ain’t seen nothin’ yet

(I need to be educated
Gotta go to school.)

(Michele)
Now I’m from Minnesota
I do not have a brain
I say stuff that is crazy
Folks think that I’m insane
But I say any fame is good fame
So I take what I can get
Yes I take what I can get
and then I look at you with my crazy eyes
And say you ain’t seen nothin’ yet
B-b-b-baby you just ain’t seen n-n-n-nuthin yet
I’ll say something dumbass that you never will forget
No no no you ain’t seen n-n-n-uthin yet

(Sarah)
I let them interview me
Wearing fishing wader pants
The government will kill you
If you give them half a chance

I say that any fame is good fame
So I take what I can get
Yes I take what I can get
And then I wink at you with my big brown eyes
and say

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet
No b-b-baby you ain’t seen nothin’ yet
I like to shoot down wolves while riding in a jet
No no no you aint’ seen nothin’ yet

(Michele)
You know I fear the census
It’s a socialistic plot
And all my peers in Congress
Want our government to rot

But I say any fame is good fame
So I take what I can get
Yes I take what I can get
and then I look at you with my crazy eyes
And say you ain’t seen nothin’ yet
B-b-b-baby you just ain’t seen n-n-n-nuthin yet
I sputter nonsense like I suffer from Tourette
No no no you ain’t seen n-n-n-uthin yet

(I need educatin’
Gotta go to school)

(Michele and Sarah)
We two girls have a tactic
We’re crazy like a fox
We want to scare the masses
When we talk outside the box

We say that any fame is good fame
So we take what we can get
Yes we take what we can get
And then we look at you with those vacant eyes
And say you ain’t seen nothin’ yet
B-b-b-baby you just ain’t seen n-n-n-nuthin yet
We’re a crackpot and a beauty pageant vet
No no no you ain’t seen n-n-n-uthin yet

Respectfully (?),
Rutherford

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

Lawson is Illegal Immigrant

Yes, my friends, the truth must come out. I have been informed that several crack researchers at World Net Daily have uncovered my real birth certificate. Since I refuse to be outed by those with a vicious agenda, I am preempting any potential scandal by posting my original birth certificate.

Alas, it is true, that like Barack Obama, I was born in Kenya. Hence my devotion to him all these many months. The evidence is here for all to see.

Respectfully,
Rutherford

When Will Southerners Tire of Being Ignorant?

It looks like comedian Jeff Foxworthy has a new punchline to add to his “you just might be a redneck” routine. It goes like this:

If you believe Barack Obama was born in Kenya, (altogether now) you just might be a redneck!

Apparently 23% of Americans polled by Research 2000 are either unsure of the President’s citizenship or outright deny that he is a citizen. The geographic breakdown of the numbers is sadly predictable:

          Yes   No   Not sure
Dem       93    4    3
Rep       42   28   30
Ind       83    8    9

Northeast 93    4    3
South     47   23   30
Midwest   90    6    4
West      87    7    6

A whopping 53% of Southerners polled are not convinced that Barack Obama was born in the United States.

It took until 1865 and a civil war that almost wrecked our country for Southerners to figure out that slavery was not “ok”. It then took another 100 years or so before the government forced the imbeciles in charge of things to give equal rights to blacks. And now here we are in 2009 and the South once again shows its profound ignorance.

This does not come as a complete surprise to me. When I visited Atlanta a decade or so ago I turned on the hotel television to be greeted by an advertisement to tour a nearby plantation and get a taste of Southern culture. When in Germany, a tour of Auschwitz is meant to be a lesson in man’s inhumanity to man. In Georgia, the South’s past of dehumanizing Africans was celebrated as a culture for which we should be nostalgic.

As a black man, when I hear that great cacophony popularly called rap “music”, I cringe with embarrassment. Quite often, pure garbage passes as “culture”. I can only hope that the 47% of Southerners who think, are equally mortified by their brain dead brethren. It’s high time the South embraced intelligence and joined the company of educated men and women who can tell foolishness from fact.

In the following fantastic commentary, HBO’s Bill Maher says, “In America there is no idea so patently absurd that it can’t catch on”. He goes on to say that foolishness like the Birther movement gains traction by “dummies talking to other dummies”. According to Maher, we ignore this nonsense at our own peril. It grows like a weed, fed on ignorance and a dash of racism.

Above all, who do I hold accountable for the spread of this nonsense? Eleven names come to mind. Eleven Congressmen who don’t have the guts to call their constituents nutjobs when the label fits. I’m talking about the author and co-sponsors of the so called “birther bill”, H.R. 1503. This is a hall of shame that should be on the front of every paper in America, eleven elected officials who should never see elected office again.

Rep Posey, Bill [FL-15]
Rep Blackburn, Marsha [TN-7]
Rep Burton, Dan [IN-5]
Rep Campbell, John [CA-48]
Rep Carter, John R. [TX-31]
Rep Culberson, John Abney [TX-7]
Rep Gohmert, Louie [TX-1]
Rep Goodlatte, Bob [VA-6]
Rep Marchant, Kenny [TX-24]
Rep Neugebauer, Randy [TX-19]
Rep Poe, Ted [TX-2]

We have two wars, a crushing deficit, record unemployment and more than enough legitimate grounds for debate about the Obama administration’s policies, to spend even a minute on this insanity, second only in absurdity to the “Hollywood studio moonwalk” conspiracy. And once again, we can count on the South to lead the way in xenophobic, if not outright racist diversions.

I’m sure there are Southerners who will read this piece and accuse me of being disrespectful. I’m sorry, but respect is earned through enlightenment, not ignorance. At least 53% of you are an embarrassment to our nation. You’ll get respect when you get a clue.

Respectfully,
Rutherford

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

Obama is Not an Expert … On Being Black

No one is. Being black is an individual experience shaped by the events of an individual’s life. There is no universal “black experience”. There are blacks who for one reason or another have emerged from the “adventure” of being black in America relatively unscathed. There are others for whom life has been a living hell and the extent to which their race contributed to that hell is imprecise at best.

Many blacks, myself included, have encountered well meaning whites who think that just by virtue of our being black that we are an authority on all things African-American. “Rutherford, that Puff Daddy sure is talented isn’t he?” Well, actually, I don’t listen to Puff Daddy (or P Diddy or whatever he’s calling himself right now). “Rutherford, which do you like better, the writings of Toni Morrison or James Baldwin?” Eh, I haven’t read either of them.

I’m beginning to think our first black president is falling into this trap and is no longer acquitting himself admirably.  After contributing to an over 200 comment thread on this very blog and after watching a week’s worth of coverage I am having somewhat of an epiphany concerning Barack Obama and race. Let me explain.

Had police Sgt. Crowley arrested Professor Henry Louis Gates last year while George W. Bush was President, W would never have been asked his opinion on the matter. This is a hypothetical upon which I’m 99% positive (I’ll grant my opponents a 1% margin of error). So what possessed Chicago writer Lynn Sweet to ask Barack Obama about this local police matter at the conclusion of a press conference that had NOTHING to do with local politics or local police behavior? It is simple. The Crowley-Gates throw-down was swimming in racial controversy and it goes without saying that our black president MUST have an opinion on it. Obama, who has mistakenly taken on the roll of social science teacher-in-chief took the bait. Not only did he use the moment to remind us about racial profiling (which incidentally did not happen in this case), he shared his opinion of the arrest as though he was our enlightened educating black best buddy.

Obama, at least this past week, seems to have forgotten what made him such an appealing presidential candidate. With the exception of the “Race Speech” which had to be made to explain away Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Obama ran a basically race-neutral campaign. While it was clear that if he won, he would be our first black president, he did not run as the black candidate. He ran to be president, not the black president. Obama got himself in hot water this week because he allowed himself to be cornered into being the black-expert-in-chief. The proper answer to Lynn Sweet should have been, “Lynn, with all I have on my plate right now do you really think I’m going to weigh in on a Cambridge, Massachusetts arrest? For what it’s worth, Skip Gates is a friend of mine and I wish him well. Next question.”

I think the time has come for Barack Obama to become ice cold when it comes to race in America. Being black does not make you an expert on being black. Obama is a smart man who likes to show his expertise on a number of subjects but race need not be one of them. If Obama wants to “teach” us about being black, let him do it simply by example. To my knowledge, Obama has never screamed at a police officer to the point that the officer was sufficiently offended to arrest his ass. That alone should be evidence of what Obama really thinks of Gates’ behavior in this incident.

So to Obama I say, stop teaching us and continue leading us. To the press I say, Barack Obama knows no more about being a black man in this country than any other black guy. Stop asking him race related questions thinking he somehow owes you an answer. He’s not your social science experiment. He’s the leader of the free world. Treat him that way.

Respectfully,
Rutherford

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

A Poll for All My Conservative Friends

The wording of this poll question is from one of my devoted readers. Have fun with it. I’ll be posting something more substantial in a day or so.

While we’re having some fun, here’s a video for you. I love the style, even if I don’t endorse the message.

Respectfully,
Rutherford

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

Obama Video Address: June 27, 2009

This week President Obama shares his satisfaction with the clean energy bill recently passed in the House of Representatives. Critics such as John Boehner say that the legislation will only raise costs to consumers and put intolerable burdens on home builders, home sellers and others. From what I can see, the Republican alternative lacks any incentive for compliance nor any punishment for non-compliance. Once again, as in the case of Republican budget alternatives, the GOP has done little homework and offered flimsy thin solutions that do not provide a viable alternative to what is being championed by the Democrats. The two party system only works in this country when both parties bring good ideas to the table. If the Democratic agenda has major flaws, the Republican party has no one to blame but themselves for its passage. As I have said repeatedly on these pages, we need a Republican party with fresh and intelligent ideas, and not just a bunch of naysayers. I don’t see that yet.

And now, the President of the United States of America:

Sanford Addendum: What I Did For Love

Normally, I don’t clutter my Obama Video updates with off topic stuff but this week I just had to revisit the Mark Sanford fiasco. I was appalled by the release of private e-mails between Sanford and his mistress, Argentinian former journalist Maria Belen Chapur. Be that as it may, what amazes me even more is the near unanimous free pass the Governor is getting from lots of TV commentators. MSNBC’s Mike Barnacle has stated “the heart wants what the heart wants”. On ABC’s “This Week …”, none other than hardass Kathleen Parker tried to remind the panel of talking heads how irrational being in love can be.

What the heck is going on here? Has the media gone all mushy romantic on us? Is there some secret inside-the-beltway scuttlebutt that Jenny Sanford is a “bitch” who deserves to be cheated on? I am truly puzzled by the way several folks in the media have elevated Sanford above your standard card carrying adulterer (e.g. Spitzer, Edwards, Vitter, Ensign, Clinton, etc.) simply because he exchanged lovey-dovey e-mails with his mistress and was friends with her before he got down and dirty with her.

Have almost nine years of marriage made me forget the power of “being in love”? Or is the media full of horsepucky? Well in my home, the verdict is in, emphatically. Mrs. Lawson has stated unambiguously that Sanford, being a married man, has “no right to be in love with another woman”. To make matters even clearer, I cannot find any trace of my hiking equipment anywhere in the house.

Respectfully,
Rutherford

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

Alien Thought

From the desk of the Rigorist:

Something my host Rutherford said here haunts me.

“If you or anyone else can help me understand this, I’d be appreciative”, referring to middle class conservatives identifying with fat cat financial predators.

It haunts me.

Not only because I yearn for connection, as does everyone, but because the most serious threat to America, Islam, is alien to liberals in precisely the same way as conservative thought. They aid and abet the Islamic agenda by acting as an infidel, just as Mohammad ( P B & J ) described. Mohammad knew how to crush such people. Islamic tactics were made and honed to subdue those who believe that people are good.

As much fun as it would be to pick on President Obama – and he is as fat, slow, clumsy, and ridiculous a target as one could hope for – his fate is sealed. Eventually the pork addicted Republicans, who have proved themselves to be as completely destitute of integrity as the Liberals have always said, will roll for the President in Act III of  ‘Obama, a Shakespearean tragedy’.

How, though, can one draw a Liberal into such a paradigm shift? Rand used fiction to entice the undecided looking for entertainment. Rush uses disparagement to goad Liberals to substantively engage the reasoning beneath his  monologues.

Hmmm.

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance